Published 6 February 2007 in The Carolinian (The University of North Carolina at Greensboro), p. 6
Please allow me to introduce myself
A veteran conservative Carolinian columnist comes back for another round
The Compleat Heretic
Matt Wallace
Staff Writer
Howdy, I'm Matt Wallace. I'm a "nontraditional," read "old," student in the midst of what I refer to as "my third UNCG career." Of course, 45 isn't that old, but I'm well aware that most of my classmates are young enough to be my children had I lived a different life. My gray beard doesn't help either. I don't mind being mistaken for a professor though.
I first attended UNCG as a Philosophy major from 1983 to 1985. In my junior year, after earning just over half the hours required for a BA, I inexplicably dropped out to do a four-year enlistment in the U.S. Army.
My second UNCG career was as a Finance major from 1990 to 1997. I was enrolled off and on for various reasons, such as a nine-month stint as an activated reservist at Fort Bragg during the Gulf War and recurring bouts of craniorectal impaction. Even so, I couldn't quite complete that one last course to satisfy the degree requirements.
My third career started in 2005 when I returned to complete my BS in Finance. I had allowed so much time to pass that I needed to take five courses to complete AULER. I completed the work last summer and was awarded my degree in August 2006-after 23-plus years and 175 semester hours credit. I'm nothing if not persistent.
Two of the five courses I was required to take were literature courses. I hadn't been looking forward to them, but oddly enough I found that I actually enjoyed studying literature. As a result, I continued my third UNCG career as a second undergraduate degree English major. Anyway, "Professional Student" is a legitimate career, isn't it?
I was a Carolinian Opinions columnist from 1991 to 1993. I enjoyed writing my column then, and I am looking forward to reviving it. I was most gratified when readers expressed enjoyment of reading my column even though they completely disagreed with me. I was especially proud of my uncanny ability to generate letters to the editor. Hopefully this time I can avoid the harassing phone calls and having my apartment cased by members of an offended group.
The name for my column is a carryover from my 10-year-old Matt Wallace's The Compleat Heretic which I describe as "the personal web site of an economic and social conservative, Republican, Teamsters union member, moral traditionalist, pro life, U.S. Army veteran, Secular Humanist atheist." I adopted the cybernym and virtual identity of "The Compleat Heretic" to reflect my seemingly contradictory combination of political and religious views. I could easily be considered a heretic by other members of whatever group with which I identified. The fact that this includes perhaps every group I could join constitutes a perfection of heresy on my part.
Over the past decade, I've found that the religious right types and "ordinary" conservatives can't quite comprehend my atheism, which they reflexively view as a manifestation of leftist politics. Similarly, the atheists can't understand my cultural conservatism, which they reflexively view as "just religious beliefs" when espoused by the religious right.
I've caused much befuddlement and consternation amongst both "God haters" who couldn't grasp the concept of the "Radical Irreligious Right" and "Bible Thumpers" who couldn't begin to conceive of a "'Godly' godless heathen." No doubt many of you are having similar reactions right now.
At this point, you may be thinking that I'm simply being perverse when I claim to embrace what are usually considered to be diametrically opposed positions. I argue that the fact that I can hold them demonstrates they aren't incompatible. Even so, I've long recognized the need to document my reasons for holding my positions in more detail as many find them counterintuitive. Perhaps I'll be able to do so in future columns.
When reading my column, always remember that I am extremely opinionated and none too shy about it. My opinions are the result of rational analysis and my innate contrariness. I have always sought to comprehend things, and I have always heard the beat of my own drummer very loudly and most clearly.
I am confident that you will find that my columns will either delight and amuse you or shock and offend you, and probably a combination of the two. If not, you have only to wait for it. Most of all, simply enjoy reading my columns at least as much as I'll enjoy writing them.
Read more from Matt at his website: www.CompleatHeretic.com
Original unedited column as submitted to the The Carolinian (The University of North Carolina at Greensboro)
Please allow me to introduce myself
by Matt Wallace
Howdy, I'm Matt Wallace. I’m a “nontraditional,” read “old,” student in the midst of what I refer to as “my third UNCG career.” Of course, forty-five isn’t that old, but I’m well aware that most of my classmates are young enough to be my children had I lived a different life. My gray beard doesn’t help either. I don’t mind being mistaken for a professor though.
I first attended UNCG as a Philosophy major from 1983 to 1985. In my junior year, after earning just over half the hours required for a BA, I inexplicably dropped out to do a four-year enlistment in the U.S. Army.
My second UNCG career was as a Finance major from 1990 to 1997. I was enrolled off and on for various reasons such as a nine-month stint as an activated reservist at Fort Bragg during the Gulf War and recurring bouts of craniorectal impaction. Even so, I couldn’t quite complete that one last course to satisfy the degree requirements.
My third career started in 2005 when I returned to complete my BS in Finance. I had allowed so much time to pass that I needed to take five courses to complete AULER. I completed the work last summer and was awarded my degree in August 2006 — after 23-plus years and 175 semester hours credit. I’m nothing if not persistent.
Two of the five courses I was required to take were literature courses. I hadn’t been looking forward to them, but oddly enough I found that I actually enjoyed studying literature. As a result, I continued my third UNCG career as a second undergraduate degree English major. Anyway, "Professional Student" is a legitimate career, isn't it.
I was a Carolinian opinions columnist from 1991 to 1993. I enjoyed writing my column then, and I am looking forward to reviving it. I was most gratified when readers expressed enjoyment of reading my column even though they completely disagreed with me. I was especially proud of my uncanny ability to generate letters to the editor. Hopefully this time I can avoid the harassing phone calls and having my apartment cased by members of an offended group.
The name for my column is a carryover from my ten-year-old Matt Wallace's The Compleat Heretic which I describe as “the personal web site of an economic and social conservative, Republican, Teamsters union member, moral traditionalist, pro life, U.S. Army veteran, Secular Humanist atheist.” I adopted the cybernym and virtual identity of “The Compleat Heretic” to reflect my seemingly contradictory combination of political and religious views. I could easily be considered a heretic by other members of whatever group with which I identified. The fact that this includes perhaps every group I could join constitutes a perfection of heresy on my part.
Over the past decade, I’ve found that the religious right types and “ordinary” conservatives can't quite comprehend my atheism which they reflexively view as a manifestation of leftist politics. Similarly, the atheists can't understand my cultural conservatism which they reflexively view as “just religious beliefs” when espoused by the religious right.
I’ve caused much befuddlement and consternation amongst both “God haters” who couldn't grasp the concept of the “Radical Irreligious Right” and “Bible Thumpers” who couldn't begin to conceive of a “’Godly’ godless heathen.” No doubt many of you are having similar reactions right now.
At this point, you may be thinking that I’m simply being perverse when I claim to embrace what are usually considered to be diametrically opposed positions. I argue that the fact that I can hold them demonstrates they aren’t incompatible. Even so, I've long recognized the need to document my reasons for holding my positions in more detail as many find them counterintuitive. Perhaps I’ll be able to do so in future columns.
When reading my column, always remember that I am extremely opinionated and none too shy about it. My opinions are the result of rational analysis and my innate contrariness. I have always sought to comprehend things, and I have always heard the beat of my own drummer very loudly and most clearly.
I am confident that you will find that my columns will either delight and amuse you or shock and offend you, and probably a combination of the two. If not, you have only to wait for it. Most of all, simply enjoy reading my columns at least as much as I’ll enjoy writing them.
Read more from Matt at his web site: www.CompleatHeretic.com
